Missing My George..

On this exact day 7 February 2017, at about 1030hrs I layed defeated, curled on the floor..in a fetal position next to Roger, (or George as I called him) my life partner of 16 years, as he passed away, with me unable to even stand. My name is Antonio.
Roger and I met on 15 Nov 2000. Though I’d just married a little over a year prior, it was clear that we were to be. Divorced, we began what would be an awesome learning journey of life, beauty, love ,preserversnce, pain, defeat.
There was always a calm about us both when we were together. Being an interracial, and male couple, made us have to bond even tighter, and we did that. We both worked 6 day weeks at the time, but spent all of our free time together.
Both huge NFL fans, we spent any given Sunday watching pregame, game time, and postgame stuff from 1030am-1130pm or so, nonstop.
Roger loved to go out to eat, and would always have a nice filet, or surf and turf when able. He enjoyed going to see movies often, though I didn’t, I would still go, even though he had no issue going alone. He did, and loved the matinee for that.
Years together roll by, and brought us to 2004-2005 when we found Roger’s heart valve was leaking, and would have to be replaced, as medication could not heal it. A serious heart surgery with a successful valve replacement was completed..and with months of recovery, Roger came back doing great, though having to remain retired in the process. Looking back, there’s always a true appreciation for today’s technology. The metallic valve that replaced Rogers original one, allowed him, us both, and all, an entire 10 years of added great times, well spent together.
At the time of the valve replacement, we’d been together 6 years. Being retired, he’d find all types of things to do to keep busy. Anyone close to Roger knew he took his mystery customer shops seriously, and he was, imo, the best at it I’ve ever seen. Lmao. But seriously though. My goodness!
We lived at the same address for over 15 of our 16 years together, on 13th Street in Atlanta. As a couple, we we watched our neighborhood, and each other grow..I can remember even when George and I were talking and introduced the idea of him starting his own online journal…after the 2006 surgery.
To other blog/journal peers of Roger..know that he appreciated, and followed, your sites as well..some of them aren’t here any longer as well.
He truly lived in the moment, and never met a stranger. I would always witness people just literally walk up to him with a crowd around him, or even sitting in his car at a stoplight, just randomly ask him directions. And he’d give them specifically, even offering to lead the way if needed! Crazy but true..
Roger enjoyed the close relationship he kept with his parents, and though I mourn Roger, my Life partner/other/better half, my condolences remain with Roger Sr, and Mary Jo, his parents, siblings, both of our families lost an awesome son, brother, nephew, cousin, and all!
Roger’s best friend, Sarah in Ferrum Virginia, spoke with him almost daily, truly filled me with memories of many great talks and struggles they shared over years time, and allowed me to even further understand the many bridges that Roger connected, and maintained between others during his life.
In addition to the loss of my George, his dog..Babygirl passed months later in 2017, before Christmas, of heart failure as well. She was 11yrs old.
Since Election Day in November 2016, I began daily visits to the hospital taking care of Roger. With a break from Thanksgiving, till 4 days after Christmas, then back at hospital daily, until he passed in February. There’s also happiness looking back at each daily visit with Roger, talking, making sure he was eating. He’d send pictures of every meal, before and after to me if I weren’t there. Lol. He was hilarious. Being with Roger so many years showed me how to have true compassion and care for others with proper utmost respect. How to be a stronger man altogether. He truly made anyone in front of him feel special, and a true focus of his attention. Though my relationship with Roger was only the second one in my adult life, I learned how to understand and accept,BEING loved. Felt great to have to love sent out returned the same way.
We didn’t have many friends by choice. So those 16 years were truly spent with us talking, laughing crying and all of that, together one on one. And it’s all that time we had together that keeps me going forward without him today.
When I saw how God bought me from the true pit of depression for months after Rogers passing, it cleared any doubt that God didn’t love me. He does, and I’ve witnessed it. Roger, my George, I miss you so much. Having spent all of our time either together, on the phone, or texting, I still find myself lost. I look for you everywhere I go..still shop the same stores you did all your mystery shops. Often still waiting for you to walk back in the door and say everything is gonna be fine.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Leslie says:

    Wow! Antonio this has truely touched me. I feel the LOVE that was shared..
    Your words…….are immeasurable.
    Roger is so proud of your strength and understanding
    I am proud of You, too

    Like

  2. Urspo says:

    What a marvelous and lovely entry. Thank you for sharing this. I too miss Roger; I keep his blog in my files to remember him.

    Like

  3. Sarah says:

    What wonderful kind words I know Roger is smiling down on you an proud! He is surely missed An always loved!! ❤️

    Like

  4. Nikki says:

    Antonio, I can see Roger in every word written. Miss him dearly💕. Beautiful words from a beautiful person.

    Like

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