I think some friendships are like the Dick Wolf Law and Order series. When they premiere you are completely smitten and get caught up in the newness and excitement of it all. You have an immediate connection that feels everlasting.
After a few seasons,(there still chugging along 20 years later) things start to change. There is a mix up in the cast. Plotlines get recycled. Once beloved characters start doing things that seem, well…out of character. Their actions don’t feel true and authentic. It’s no longer the show it once was and no matter how many flashback episodes are aired, it never will be again. Eventually, you lose interest and start watching something else.
In the last couple of years two of my friendships like this ended. These were people I loved and cared for deeply and in many ways still do and always will. Both ended without a word spoken about what was going on.
For a long time I blamed myself. For an even longer time I blamed the other. It took me a while to realize none of us were to blame. It was what it was and when its time was up, there was nothing anyone could have said or done to change what was inevitable.
After they were over, it was very painful and troubling. I was caught up in the notion that all friendships last forever. That is simply not the case. Some people you meet, you will have in your life always. Others have time limits. Maybe a year. Maybe two. Maybe ten. Some will fade away slowly and some will be ripped away.
Some may say this is an extremely cynical view of friendships. I disagree. I think is purely an honest one. It doesn’t make those short term friendships any less important or significant. If anything it should reaffirm that we should relish every moment we have with the people we love because we may not have any moments again tomorrow. While friendships may end and time passes, you will always have the reruns of memories of days gone by to watch over and over.
Consider and Apply