I’m at BP yesterday and I grab the nozzle from the pump to put gas in my car, and the handle is wet and sticky.* WTF? Disgusting!

Not knowing whether it was blood, cherry popsicle residue or Something-else-red-I-Know-Not-What, I immediately dump both my hands into the window washer well and look around for a paper towel to wipe it is off my hand. As I hit the towel dispenser, I realize that they now have a Purell hand sanitizer dispenser next to the towels. I never even thought about it before, but what a great idea. Normally, I put the gas in, jump in my car, immediately squirt a shot out of the bottle in the cup holder and go on my way.

That got me thinking. All things considered, a gas pump handle has to be one of the most “handled” things in the modern world and EVERYONE who drives ANYTHING needs gas.

That garbageman who just spent 12 hours getting maggoty garbage juice all over his hands, the new guy working for the tree service company with the seeping blisters on his palms from running the chainsaw all day, that fat chick who just dug her week-old underwear out of her ass before she got out of her car, the Harley dude who is allergic to showers — all of them need gas for their cars, trucks, busses and bikes.

So along comes you, and you grab the handle and drop 20 in the tank. Even if you pay at the pump, you’re still hanging onto that hotbed of viral funk for upwards of at least 3 minutes. That shit is halfway up your arm by the time you drop the pump handle back in the slot. Then you jump back in your car, grab the door handle, the seatbelt buckle and the steering wheel…before you know it, your car is basically a rolling petri dish.

Then all you have to do is inadvertently rub your eyes or bite a hangnail, and best case, suddenly you’ve got three weeks to live. Worst case, you just ate an antibiotic-resistant strain of group A streptococcus, and 6 hours from now you’ll be a steaming puddle of goo.

Consider and Apply!


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Ron says:

    I will definitely show this post to Bill. He always insists that I wipe my hands after pumping gas. At first I considered his demands annoying but overtime I came to realize he (and you) are exactly right, those gas station pumps are a rolling petri dish. By the way, next time you get gas, look at the ground where you are standing. Usually that is where the spit which is expectorated by pseudo macho males lands. Your shoes walk in that spittle and then those same shoes walk into your house, often on carpets. That’s why we insist on anyone who enters our domain remove their shoes. Thanks for publicizing this hidden health menace. :)


  2. Dad says:

    You made a good point!



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